EIGHT R8 REASONS TO CRAWL UNDER A ROCK (TRUE STORIES)

[Buck 120 32]

---- EIGHT REASONS TO CRAWL UNDER A ROCK (TRUE STORIES)

1. CURL UP AND DIE: I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three

kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a

blow job?"

Melinda Lowe, 39, Seguin TX

2. PAD PLEASE: An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our

mortgage insurance. He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me, and

I wanted to follow as best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to run and get me a pad.

He came back and handed me a Kotex right in front of our guest.

Kate Newman,46,

Winston-Salem, NC

3. HO, HO, HO: I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the

bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he

looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came

out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas cards.

Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically,

And suggesting I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was

shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured my

reflection in the mirror wearing nothing but a camera! - Name Withheld

4. LADY GOLFER: I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf

balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I and been using. After

browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

Colleen Collins, 31, Ferndale, MI

5. NUTS ABOUT YOU: My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store

that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the

boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

- Faye Emerick, 34, Ellerslie, MD.

6. PRICELESS: A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she

finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no

price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom

and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN,

TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the

store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "THUMBTACKS." In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"

7. MOM'S ADVICE: A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the

class was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying

attention.

She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and

Whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to phone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did it and returned to his class.

Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to

Investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your Mom." She screamed. "I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school."

8. This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a

very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think

before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get

any.... true story...we had a female news anchor who,the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked

"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"

Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too

they were laughing so hard

IF YOU GUYS AND GALS HAVE SIMILAR STORIES, LETS CONTINUE THIS THREAD.